I feel sad for my children that I have brought them into this world. I feel sad for the innocent core of all children in this not-so-perfect world. I feel sad for all adults whose innocent inner child can no longer be seen on the outside.
I am not a perfect parent. And even when I was, I wouldn’t be able to keep the world away from them. Being gifted with children can be one of our lives most heartbreaking and heartopening experiences. Never are we more motivated to better than when loved unconditionally by another’s inner child. It is in their presence that we are able to come into contact with our own inner child again, and become aware of what we have lost since then.
I am grateful that in my training to become a psychotherapist I learned about “the good enough parent.” In their need for survival it is part of the child’s normal development to be narcissistic. How could he otherwise stay alive? Necessary for a healthy personality the child has to be frustrated, and to learn to tolerate frustration. We all know adults who think they are entitled, and what their effect on their surroundings can be.
I don’t have the power to make the world a better place. The best I can do, is to love them the way they are, so that they can develop into open-hearted and open-minded people, that when life strikes, they are able to react with love and strength. Their best protection is their own core. Then they will be ready to use adversity for experience, to learn, to grow, and then, to help.
Comfort, I teach them, in the midst of catastrophe, is found in the focus on the ones that help. I hope I am a helper. I hope they will become helpers too.